


Heavy Shoulders

by Violentredroses



Category: Animal Kingdom (TV), Animal Kingdom - Fandom, Animal Kingdom-Fandom
Genre: Angst, Consensual Incest, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Love Triangles, Organized Crime, Romance, Uncle/Niece Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:43:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7490109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violentredroses/pseuds/Violentredroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"J, there are bigger problems going on in this family than Craig and me fucking!" Josie and her brother Joshua get more than they bargained for when they move in with their grandmother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She pedaled the bike down the alley. She could feel the sun beaming right on her skin, and the breeze cooling down her back and through her hair. Her knuckles burned and she could see the right going red. Her cheek stung from the swing she took. Honestly, would anyone have blamed her for she did? She went over expecting Adam to be doing homework or writing a new song. Instead, he was in bed with some red head. What made it worse was how entitled the red head felt about Adam. She acted as if Josie had no right being there. That was when the first punch went. The girl immediately reached for her hair, yanking on the roots before Josie hit her in the gut. The second went to the intervening Adam, who received a majority of the blows. She could still feel where the red head tried pulling her hair and scratching her. When Josie hit her again, she must’ve realized it wasn’t a cat fight and ran out half naked.

Adam couldn’t even get up.

Josie never would have said how her heart felt. She’d felt connected to Adam. He’d been funny and bright. She loved going to his shows and listening to him sing. He was perfect for her. She saw him being part of her future with Mom and J. Now, she’d be alone like always. Adam proved just as big an asshole as the rest of them.

Passing old apartment buildings and dumpsters, she spotted her brother on the stairs. Joshua sat on the bottom step, wearing his old hoodie and worn out jeans. She noticed a black garbage bag sitting at his side. She looked over his curly brown hair and hunched shoulders, and saw the look in his eyes. He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t crying. Yet, there was something about him that told her he wasn’t there. He was elsewhere, pondering on things that have happened. However, there was something different about this and it toiled in her stomach. She stopped her bike a few feet from him, walking over to him with a backpack over her shoulder.

“J?” she called him. “What’s wrong?” She sat beside him on the step. When he didn’t answer, she asked again, “What happened? Is it mom? Is she okay?”

“She’s dead,” he said quietly.

Josie didn’t speak for a second. The words must’ve not come through precisely. For a moment, she wasn’t sure whether she heard right or not. Despite her mother’s habit, she never imagined her dying. It simply never crossed her mind. How could she not expect it? It was bound to happen eventually. She didn’t feel sad. She felt empty. How could you cry for someone that was already dead inside? Josie rested her head on his shoulder, and he brought his arm around her. “Overdose?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I was next to her, Jo. I was right there. We were watching TV and then I look over and she’s not moving. She wasn’t responding. I called the EMTs and they told me she’d died.”

“J,” she said. She patted his knee and squeezed it gently, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, J. I should’ve been here. You shouldn’t have had to go through that alone.”

He didn’t say anything. He merely held her and rubbed her arm gently. “You fight with Adam?”

“I caught him in bed with some girl he met at a show,” she said.

“Jo…” J sighed. “At least tell me you hit him too.”

“I did,” she chuckled softly, “He cried like a little bitch the whole time, but he doesn’t matter right now.”

The world felt odd now. Their mother might have done drugs, but she’d been good. She loved them. She couldn’t imagine herself coming home and not seeing her mother there. It was too unreal.

“What now?” she asked him, lifting her head from his shoulder. “I mean, my paycheck doesn’t cover this apartment alone.”

“I took care of it.”

“How?”

“Remember Grandma?” he turned to her, “Mom’s mom?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, “But we haven’t seen her since we were like five and seven-years-old.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t care about you two,” a woman’s voice said.

Their grandmother was quite young-looking for her age. She was slender, but the age was in the wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. Her light blonde hair didn’t have a single grey hair; though Josie was sure she colored her roots. Josie knew behind those brand-name sunglasses were blue eyes just like her mother’s. It was the one detail Josie remembered about her. Josie stood up from the step, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. “Hey Grandma,” she said.

“Hey baby,” she said, coming down the steps and hugging her. She smelled like Chanel. Josie didn’t know if she liked it or not. “God, you’ve grown so much,” she said, pulling away from her and smiling. She pushed a strand of blonde from Josie’s face and said, “You look like your mom, just blonder.” She touched Josie’s stinging cheek, “What happened, honey?”

“Nothing to worry about,” Josie said.

Her grandmother looked over her face one more time. She knew this topic won’t go away so easily. “You and J are gonna be staying with me and your uncles. Why don’t you wash up and pack your things? J and I will be in the car.”

“Okay.”

She went up the steps while J stayed with their grandmother. If Josie remembered correctly, people called her ‘Smurf’. Why? She wasn’t sure. Once she asked her mother, and never got a real answer. ‘That’s just what they call her, honey.’ Josie walked to her apartment and already found the door open.

The air was stuffy and warm. J must’ve turned off the air conditioning. She looked around and found J had picked up the coffee table and washed dishes. Everything was eerily the same. The only thing missing was the brunette who’d be on the couch after her afternoon fix. It was as if the world hadn’t changed in the time she’d been gone. There was no noise. Her feet didn’t even thump on the soft carpet. Her mother’s jacket still sat on the kitchen counter, and her keys hung from the hook. Josie picked up the black heels she’d kicked off a few nights ago. She put down her backpack and took them into her mother’s room. She set them by the closet. She looked at the bed still its mess of sheets, and pictured finding her sleeping there. She tried ignoring the long rubber tie and small stash tin on the dresser. She hated thinking this was how her mother ended. Anybody who hears about it will think her mother had been another trash junkie; not a loving mother of two children. She hated it.

She wiped herself off in the bathroom before stuffing her things into a trash bag like her brother. Walking out the door, she made a mental note to call the landowner. She’d have to call J’s school and tell them about their change in address. She’d give Danny a call when she got to Smurf’s place, letting her employer know about everything.

‘I’d have to clean out any personal stuff and put it in boxes,’ she noted as she locked the door. ‘I’d have to call Bill and see how much time we got.’

She walked to the large truck Smurf parked outside. Strapping into the backseat, she said, “J, did you do your homework?”

“Yeah,” he answered.

“Did you grab my laptop bag? I couldn’t find it in my room.”

“Got it right here,” he picked it up between his legs and landed it to her.

“Thanks,” she said.

Smurf began driving away. “You’re still in school, Josie?”

“Uh yeah, college. J’s still in high school,” she answered.

“What are you studying?” she asked.

“Marine biology.”

“Yeah, Jo really likes the ocean,” J added. “She works at the aquarium by the beach.”

“Really?” she sounded impressed.

“It’s more of a paid internship until I finish college,” she said.

“What is it you do?”

“I work in the sea life section,” she said. “It’s basically a room with a big tank of fish living in their natural habitats. I give tours and tell people about the fish and the turtles and stuff.”

“And you still live in that little shithole apartment?”

“Being an intern doesn’t pay a whole lot,” she explained. “When I finish college, they’d take me in full time as a real employee. I’ll make more when that happens.”

She’d planned on much better things for them when she got hired. They’d move out of the apartment and maybe get a nicer one or a house. Mom would have gone to a real rehab and get a job of her own. She could have added more money to J’s college fund. The three of them would have been comfortable. Now, it’d be only her and J. Then again, it wasn’t anything new for them.

“And what about you, J?” Smurf asked him.

“Um, no. I don’t have a job,” he said awkwardly. “J-Jo doesn’t want me working so I can focus on school.”

“J’s a really good student,” Josie said. “He gets A’s in everything. He has a shot at a scholarship even for a good university. I didn’t want a job stressing him out when he should be studying.”

“Who pays the bills then?”

“I do or well, did,” Josie said. “We get by well enough.”

Smurf looked at her in the rearview mirror as she drove. She grinned as if admiring her. “You have a good sister, J,” she then said. “She takes good care of you.”

“Yeah, she does I guess.”

“How do you pay all of them?”

“Well, my job and the little side stuff I do,” she said.

“Side stuff?”

“They pay her extra to fill in for the dolphin trainers,” J answered, “And to work in the kids section.”

“Wow,” Smurf said. “Sounds like you have a pretty cool job.”

“I do,” she agreed. She looked around the interior of the truck. “This is a nice truck, Smurf,” Josie said, “Is it yours?”

“It was Pope’s truck,” she replied. “Your Uncle Andrew,” she answered their questionable looks, “We got a few toys of our own at home, so you kids will never be bored. I’m also making cupcakes if you’re both hungry.”

“Thanks,” Josie said.

They reached the house. Josie wasn’t fully surprised by the luxurious house she lived in or the cars sitting outside. There was a motorcycle in the driveway with a jeep nearby. They parked near the open garage and the three of them climbed out of the truck. J and Josie followed her towards the house. She shouldered the turquoise bag and handed J his Chemistry book. He brought her close as they walked through the garage.

“Tommy came by before you came,” he told her. “He was asking about his money. He said he would put Mom on the corner again if we didn’t pay him.”

“I don’t think anyone is gonna want to fuck a dead woman,” she replied. She noted the expensive mustang sitting in the garage as they entered the large house.

“I don’t think you should go back for the rest of the stuff,” he said. “He might try to like-you know…”

“He won’t. Don’t worry.” It wouldn’t be the first time Tommy tried getting his money’s worth through her. She hit him the last time he tried.

She figured Smurf and her sons must be well off if they live so well. Josie doubted grown men still lived with their mother, but they must stay over often enough to have their clothes washed by her. The faint smell of smoke reached Josie’s nose upon entering the house. Smurf stormed ahead of them into her kitchen, pulling burnt cupcakes out of the oven. Josie stopped by the kitchen with J and was reminded of the fancy kitchens she saw in online ads for kitchen supplies. J nudged her to see the stack of hundreds on the counter. They sat their quite casually considering the lack of worry about being robbed. She didn’t think anyone would dare rob this house. Being there felt so odd to her. They went from their small apartment to this large house full of nice things.

“It’s like we’re orphan Annie coming to Daddy Warbuck’s house,” she joked.

J chuckled, “I think it’s alright.”

“Me too.”

Josie led him behind Smurf to the backyard. Three men were messing around the large pool where she spotted a jet-ski parked next to it. One was brunet, another blond and the other was very noticeably large. They all stopped when Smurf approached them, the third one climbing out of the pool. As Smurf scolded her sons, Josie turned to J.

“I gotta go to work tomorrow morning,” she said, “But if you want to stay home from school, that’s okay. You can miss one day.”

“Nah, it’s cool,” he said. “I’ll go anyways.”

“J…”

“It gives me something to do,” he said. “Just like your job. I know that’s why you’re going.”

“They asked me to do some overtime with the dolphins. It’s the only reason I want to even go. Also, I’m going to need the phone tonight. There’s some stuff I need to sort out with Bill about getting a day or two to move out personal shit and cancel our lease there. I have to make some calls about our address change too and cancel our cable and phone services. I’ll see about getting us some phones of our own, kay?”

He nodded. “You think we’re gonna be here that long?” he asked her.

“But of course you are,” Smurf interrupted with a smile. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“Well,” Josie said looking between her and J, “We wouldn’t want to impose on you guys for too long.”

J nodded in agreement, but Smurf just said, “Oh you wouldn’t be imposing, sweetheart.” She hugged her again, “Such a thoughtful girl. You always were. I wouldn’t even dream about my babies going off on their own so quickly.” She kissed their cheeks and turned to her sons. “Kids, you remember your uncles, right?” They both said ‘yes’.

The brunet, Baz, spoke first, “Sorry about your mom, guys.” He had a stocky build that narrowed down his torso. He was the only one in a shirt but she imagined he was well fit.

“You look like Julia,” Craig, the tallest of them, said to Josie. His hair was brown like his brother’s, but hung down to his neck. With his goatee and muscles, he reminded her of a caveman almost. A very well kept caveman. “Doesn’t she look like Julia?”

“Yeah, just blonder,” the blond one-Deran-said in response, “And fitter than her. Julia was always a twig.”

“Oh remember that time you two got really high and went at each other,” Craig said to Smurf, “And she threw something at you? Uh what was it? It was...it was…”

“Coleslaw,” Deran answered in a grin.

“Yeah coleslaw! She threw coleslaw at you and it got all over your face-”

“Guys…” When they stopped, he said, “Either of you want a beer or something? We got harder stuff, if you want, gin, whiskey, anything.”

“I’ll take a beer,” Josie said, “J?”

“Nah, I’m good,” he said. She could sense his awkwardness.

Craig rifled in a nearby cooler and tossed her one. She caught it and popped it open. They noticed the bruise on her knuckles as she gulped. “What happened there?” Craig asked. “You get into a fight or something?” He stared at her, almost not even bothering with J. Even from the short distance between them she could see the blue in his eyes.

“Yeah, you’re getting a bruise on your cheekbone too,” Deran pointed out. They all seemed genuinely concerned about her. It unnerved her for some reason.

“Oh, it’s nothing important,” Josie said, putting her hand down and holding the beer in her other hand. “No big deal.” She didn’t really want to bring up Adam and the red head now.

“Let me see,” Smurf said, examining her hand, “Who was it?”

“Nobody important,” she answered. “So, where are we staying?”

Smurf noticed the second subject change, but said nothing else. “You two can stay in Pope and Julia’s rooms,” she said. “Craig? Deran, show them to their rooms.”

The two men nodded and the kids followed them. Deran led J towards a room adjacent to a small court area, and she followed Craig upstairs. “It’s kinda fucked up she’s making you sleep in here,” Craig said as he opened a door on the right. “I don’t know if I’d want to sleep in a dead woman’s room.”

“It’s not like she died in here,” she said as she walked in.

Her mother’s old room wasn’t as bare as she would’ve imagined. The walls were painted half aquamarine and the other half a deep blue. She smiled softly seeing the little sea creatures painted along the border as if the room was under water. “She painted this, right?” Josie asked, bending down to examine an animated crab clipping its claws on top of a rock.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “Back when she used to paint and stuff.”

“She talked about it one time,” Josie said. “It’s how I got into the ocean stuff.”

Josie remembered it fondly. Her mother would watch nature documentaries with her and buy her books about marine life. It was the one thing they had in common other than blood and looks. She stood up straight and put her bags on the bed, which was also blue. It’s as if her mother knew she’d sleep in here one day. She noticed him looking again.

“Um, thanks I got it from here,” she said, catching his attention.

“Right,” he nodded.

Baz and Deran then came in with a plasma television, still brand new and untouched. “We got this one out of the shed,” Baz said, “Deran found a second one for you.”

“A second one?” she asked. “You guys just keep loads of multiple electronics in your shed?” she joked.

He laughed, “Kind of. We just thought you might want one here. We can get you an attachment later.”

“That’s cool,” she said, “Thanks.”

“Also, if this room’s too kiddie for you,” Deran said, “We can repaint or whatever.”

She shook her head, “No, no. It’s perfect. I love it actually.” She wouldn’t paint over her mother’s hard work.

“So, are you gonna tell us about those bruises or do we have to guess?” Baz asked. They appeared more intrigued now than concerned.

“I hit my boyfriend when I found him with some girl,” she admitted. “So, he’s my ex-boyfriend now.”

“Shit,” Deran said, “And on the day your mom…you know…”

“Died? Yeah, it’s been a fucked up day for me.” She took another gulp of her beer and set it down. “And then I got all this shit to go through once I get the phone from my brother.”

“That stuff can wait,” Baz told her.

“Yeah, don’t sweat that right now,” Craig said.

She wished she could let it go, but if she didn’t do it then who would?


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Bill, it's Josie from apartment 203? Haha, yeah, I was wondering if I could talk to you about our lease…Yeah, that's right. She died, yeah…Thank you…My brother and I are gonna be living with our grandmother now, and I was just wondering how long do we have until we can fully move out? We have some personal stuff sitting there still, so we'd like to clear it before you rent it out…Uh huh…That's understandable, we can manage that…By Saturday? That works. Thanks. See you later, Bill."

She hung up the phone and rested it on her bed. She sighed deeply, running her hands through her hair. Her entire body felt heavy. She fell back against her bed, arms splayed as she closed her eyes. She'd spent quite a while calling schools and companies. Honestly, it was enough to make her head explode. Now, she only had until Saturday to move their things. As if life wasn't getting hard enough. Her mind was already on funeral arrangements. She and J didn't have the money for a burial, let alone a real funeral. She thought of dipping into J's college fund. It wasn't something she wanted, but it would help them out.

She wished she'd brought her keyboard. She'd left it at home since she couldn't bring it with her so quickly. She needed the distraction from the things around her. She couldn't remember the last time she sat down and properly played any songs. Also, she didn't know how Smurf would feel about a piano echoing throughout the house. Certainly, she'd grab it from the apartment and find a place to have it in the room.

"He says 'oh baby girl, you know we're gonna be legends. I'm the king and you're the queen and we will stumble through heaven," she sang softly into the air. She could hear the beat in her head. The melody and words already felt so soothing. "If there's a light at the end it's just the sun in your eyes. I know you wanna go to heaven but you're human tonight," She continued singing the Halsey song, closing her eyes and forgetting the things in her head. "And I've been sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool, for a while now, drowning my thoughts out with the sounds…But do you feel like a young god? You know the two of us are just young gods. And we'll be flying through the streets with the people underneath and they're running, running, running again..."

She continued singing under her breath. The world was quiet in her room. The ocean mural surrounding her room made it better. She might've been sitting at the bottom of the ocean and looking up at the shallows above her.

"Hey honey," a soft voice said.

Josie tilted her head upward to see Smurf at her doorway. She sat up and turned towards her. "Hey," she said.

"Dinner's ready if you're hungry," she said.

"Thanks."

She hesitated for a moment and then said, "Josie, there's something I've noticed between you and J." She walked into the room and sat on the bed. "You seem to be the grown up. You took on all these responsibilities on your own: school, work, paying bills, and taking care of your brother. You had to grow up so quickly when Julia started using. I know it couldn't have been easy. I bet you cooked too?"

"Sometimes J did," she said. "He also helped clean and took care of Mom. It gave him something to do."

"But that's a lot for a young woman to handle."

She scoffed, "Tell me about it. It certainly doesn't help when your boyfriend proves to be an asshole just like the rest of them. Can you believe I fucking went over there and the girl he was with tried to kick me out? Like he was hers and I was nothing. She deserved what she got, fucking bitch." She reined herself back in and said, "Sorry. It's just been a long day."

"No worries, sweetie," she said. "Your mom always had the same problem with men; so did I. I don't blame you for what you did." She smiled, stroking Josie's hair, "You're here now. You have people who will take care of you both."

"You don't have to," she said. "J and I are good just the two of us."

"Don't be silly," she told her. "You're both family. You don't have to be on your own."

"We were alone for ten years," she simply stated. "We're used to being on our own."

Smurf paused. Josie expected resentment in her eyes, but instead she was met with apologies. "I know, baby. When your mom left, I tried calling her so many times to get her to come home. She never answered. I hoped she'd get over what happened and come home. Even Baz and Pope tried getting her back. She wouldn't listen." She scooted closer, "I'm sorry you two went through all that alone. You were only a child and you had to grow up so quickly. You should have been out having fun, not working your ass off to pay bills."

"And Mom's burial," she sighed.

"Don't you worry about that," she said, "I got that covered."

"You do?"

"It's one less thing for you to worry about, sweetheart," she said. "Come downstairs for dinner. You and your uncles can catch up with each other."

She slid off the bed and walked with her downstairs. She saw Deran and Craig already at the table, eating the pot roast Smurf made. It was quite the feast. She'd made mashed potatoes and string beans with biscuits. They both noticed her there, but she just nodded at them and sat down. She then saw J was missing.

"Where's J?" she asked Smurf.

"In his room," she said as she took a seat. "He said he wasn't hungry."

"Ah alright then," she said, grabbing the spoon for the mashed potatoes.

"You're not gonna go burst into his room and demand he eat?" Deran asked.

"He's a big boy," she said, "He'll eat when he's ready."

"You really care about him, don't you?" Craig asked. His question was soft. He was gentle when he spoke to her.

"I do," she nodded, getting a slice of pot roast. "I've been taking care of him since he was nine. It's been relatively easy since he doesn't get into much trouble."

"But I bet you do," he smirked.

The smirk. She couldn't help the tightness in her chest as she cut a piece of pot roast. "I guess," she said, "I try not doing anything too terrible. I couldn't look after him if something happened."

"Well he's in good hands now," he said, "So, being a little naughty wouldn't hurt, right?"

He was bold, she gave him that. She laughed before eating some more of the roast, "I suppose."

"This roast is great, Smurf," Daren said, cutting through the tension. However, this didn't stop Craig's eyes from looking her up and down. She shouldn't like it as much as she did. It was wrong in so many ways.

"Yeah, it's great," she turned to her grandmother, "It's the best thing I've eaten in a while. Normally I make simple stuff for J."

"Next time I can show you how to make my spicy chili," she winked, "Best around."

"That'd be great."

She spent the rest of dinner talking to the family. Josie searched for a better feel in them. If she and J would be staying with them, they'd need a proper foothold. Clearly, they'd walked into a tightly knit family who were keeping more than they said. She couldn't trust people who wouldn't tell her the truth.

"We're having a little party tomorrow afternoon," Smurf told her towards the end of dinner, "Sort of a little welcoming party for you both."

"Thanks, but I work tomorrow. J will be staying home though," she said, "Even if he would probably insist on going to school. I have work, so I might not be here."

"If J can skip school, I'm pretty sure you can miss work," Smurf said, picking up the empty plates.

"I'm filling in for one of the dolphin trainers," she said, "So if I bail last minute I wouldn't be doing them any favors."

"Dolphins?" Deran questioned her.

"Josie works at the aquarium by the beach," Smurf said quite proudly as she went to rinse off the dishes.

"Actually, it's more of sanctuary than a real aquarium," she added. "A majority of the animals there are rescues, have special needs or are endangered."

"That's awesome," Craig said. "You get to work with them all the time?"

"Not all the time," she said. "I mainly do tour guides and work with the kids, but sometimes I get to work with the dolphins. They're my favorites."

"And sharks?" Deran asked.

"We have a few," she confirmed, "But they're third for me."

"What?" he said, "Sharks are the fucking best."

"I know what I'm doing tomorrow," Craig said, getting up from the table.

"Shit, me too," Deran said, following him. "I want to see some fucking sharks."

"You and the damn sharks," Craig scoffed.

"Hey, at least I don't like whales."

"Whales are cool. Don't talk shit about whales," Craig snapped at him.

"Boys," Smurf intervened, "Remember what I said about tomorrow?"

They both stopped to look over at her. A silent reminder was settled between the three of them, and Josie caught it right away.

"I'm gonna go check on J before I go to bed," she said, standing up and leave them to their conversation.

She walked into J's new bedroom, seeing the dim lighting giving off a bluish glow. He sat on the bed, writing down equations from his math book into his notes. She watched him work quietly. He would get on better with their relatives than her. Then again, people tended to like J more. She supposed that was a perk to being the quiet one.

"Thought you did your homework?" she asked, leaning against a wall.

"I didn't have time to finish math," he answered, scribbling out one equation. "Tommy and Adam keep texting the phone."

"That doesn't matter right now," she said, "Come on. I saved you a plate for dinner; you have to eat."

"I'm not really hungry right now."

"Bullshit," she said, "You haven't eaten since we left Mom's."

"Jo, come on."

She sighed. "Is it this house? Nerves bugging your stomach?" She sat down on his bed.

"Kind of," he said. "Adam's been texting you on Mom's phone. He's pretty insistent on talking to you."

"I have nothing to say to him." Josie stared around his room, "How do you like your new room? Pretty nice."

"It's okay," he shrugged.

"We can go Saturday after we clear out the apartment," she said, "Buy some decorations and spruce this place up a bit?"

"No, I like it this way," he said. "Yours is cool though. It suits you."

"I guess," she said.

There was a silence between them for a moment. "Jo?"

"Yeah?"

"What are we gonna do about Mom?" he asked. "Shouldn't we have like a funeral or a burial or something?"

"Smurf said she'd take care of it," she said.

"And what about Tommy?"

"What about him?"

"When we go back, he's gonna be there and he's gonna want his money."

"So? We don't have $90 and she's dead," she sneered.

"I have some money for when you go back," he said, "So he won't bother you." He pulled the hundred dollar bills out of his pocket, "Baz gave it to me for shoes, but you only need like $100."

She grinned softly at him. "No, get new shoes. You need them. Don't worry about Tommy. I'll take care of him."

He nodded, and then said, "So what do you think? About Grandma and the rest?"

"They're okay. I mean, they're not terrible. It's just…"

"That we haven't seen them in like ten years," he finished.

"Yeah," she agreed, "These people-they're practically strangers. I barely remember anything about them. All I remember is Mom not liking Smurf and wanting us to stay away from them. I had no idea why, but I think I'm starting to see it." When he raised an eyebrow, she continued, "And there's something going on here. Who just has plasmas sitting in their shed? They have a motorcycle, a jeep, nice truck and a damn mustang; Smurf wears designer clothes and real jewelry. They even have a fucking jet ski. How do they make all the money to get all this nice shit? Who's paying for all of this?"

"Maybe they have some money put away," he said.

"Maybe," she rested back on his bed, feeling the soft covers beneath her. "I don't know, J. This whole thing is just weird. All of it. It's like life bought a new blender and it wants to test it out."

He lied beside her on his back, "You're just not used to having someone else take care of things."

"That's not-"

"-It so is," J defended. "You've always taken care of stuff: the bills, Mom, me, your job, and your classes. Now, there's someone else who can take care of us. It's not your problem anymore."

"I'm the oldest," she said. "When Mom started using, there was nobody to care for us. We were alone. Where were they when we went hungry cause Mom spent our food money on heroine? Smurf told me that she tried calling Mom and convince her to come back home. Why wouldn't Mom come back if she was clearly better off here? Why did they stop trying? Did they just give up? They were here doing God knows what. They certainly weren't giving a shit about us."

"Mom might've not said anything to them," he suggested. "She was too high to tell anyone anything. She and Smurf must've had a falling out and, you know, shit got complicated. It's nobody's fault."

It was their mother's fault. It was Smurf's fault. It was Deran's, Craig's, and even Baz's fault. None of them came when they knew their sister was suffering. Mom's drug habit wasn't a secret. Surely they knew she'd end up in the gutter or the street. Did they not care? When did they stop caring? So many questions ran through her mind at the moment.

"Whatever. It just seems too weird that she came rushing over once you called her when she showed no interest before."

"It is," he said. "Today was so awkward."

"Today has been awkward," she said, "And I have a feeling it'll only get more awkward." She sat up in the bed and looked over at him, "I'm gonna shower and then head to bed, kay?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'll finish my homework and go to bed too."

"Good." She mussed his hair, grinning at him. A shower sounded perfect at the moment. She charged the phone in the bathroom, putting her favorite playlist on shuffle and began undressing.

*********

_"They don't trust us," Deran said to his mother once they heard the music in the bathroom. "At least, Josie doesn't anyways."_

_"She's used to being the parent," Smurf said. "She's only protecting him."_

_"From what?" Craig asked them._

_"She's not like J," Smurf said. "She knows something is up, and it makes her distrustful. Once he's in on jobs, she'll be the first to be against it."_

_"And he'll listen," Deran said._

_"That's why I want you boys to test them out," she said. "See what they can handle, and try to get them on our side, because right now they're on their own side."_

_They nodded at her demand. As Deran made his leave, Smurf called Craig back into the room. He already knew what she was going to tell him. Craig hadn't been very subtle in his leering, he knew this. His comment at dinner didn't help either. He stood in front of her, his mother a head and some inches shorter than him. Arms crossed, she said, "She's your niece, honey."_

_"I don't know what you're talki-"_

_"-Don't bullshit me," she said. She came closer, rubbing his large arms softly, "I saw you staring at her today, and we were all there when you hit on her." He cursed himself now for not being more discrete about it. Craig knew how wrong it was. She was his niece, but how close was she really? He hadn't seen her since she was nine-years-old. She also wasn't underage. She was an adult and so was he._

_When he looked away in shame, she tilted his head back to her. He didn't disapprove or appear disgusted by him. She seemed somewhat intrigued, "I know she's a pretty girl, baby. She's absolutely gorgeous, and she's not blind either. She took one look at you and I bet her panties got wet." He blushed, but she continued, "She's like me. She knows a real man when she sees one."_

_"Yeah, but it's not like that."_

_"It's not like she's sixteen," she gave a quick laugh. "She's 21. She's a grown woman who knows what she wants. I like that about her."_

_Smurf? Like another woman? Especially around her sons? It didn't sound like her. "You do?"_

_"Yes," she said. "She's one of my babies. Why wouldn't I?" She pushed some hair from his face, "She's had it rough for a very long time. She just got out of a bad break up and her mother's died. A girl like her needs to feel special every so often, especially since her boyfriend cheated on her from what she told me. She might not like herself so much right now. I'm sure she'll hook some other guy eventually, but until then, a little flirting or some special attention wouldn't hurt."_

_He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Craig thought the last thing Smurf would want is him all over Josie. Especially considering what happened the last time this happened. "So, you want me to hit on my own niece? That's crossing a line, even for you."_

_She gave him a hard stare, "It wouldn't be the first time it happened in this family."_

_He nodded in understanding. She then said, "I just don't want a repeat of last time. I don't want this family losing another one of its girls."_

_"Right," he shifted from one foot to another. Craig couldn't believe what she'd told him. He couldn't hit on Josie. He wouldn't. Yes, she was undoubtedly beautiful, but not enough to excuse anything inappropriate. If he did seek her out, she wouldn't want him. She was too level-headed._

_"I'll tell you this," she said, coming closer to him, threatening in her eyes, "If you do anything that girl doesn't want or is uncomfortable with, you'll be answering to me, if she doesn't get to you first. Understood?"_

_"Yeah," he nodded._

_"Alright then," her motherly softness reappeared and his kissed his lips gently. He briefly thought of someone else he could kiss harder, longer and more passionately. "I was just looking," he said, "I don't plan on anything happening or whatever."_

_"Well, if something does come out of it," she said, "Just keep it in the house, okay?"_


	3. Chapter 3

When she woke up the next day for a split second she forgot where she was. She'd expected herself to be lying in her bed back in the apartment. She'd smell cigarette smoke and her sheets. She'd hear J's footsteps outside her door in the kitchen, probably preparing coffee before school. Yet, the scent of bacon brought her into her surroundings. It hit her once more. Mom really had died yesterday and she truly did live in this house now. It hadn't been a dream. Slipping out of her bed in her long shirt and underwear, she could hear a whirling sound coming from downstairs. She assumed Smurf was blending or processing something in the kitchen. Fixing her skewed shirt, she walked to the bathroom where she began her usual routine.

In the mirror, she looked like hell. Her skin was pastier than usual, the bags more noticeable in the light. She spotted the bruise from yesterday on her cheek, now purple rather than red. She grumbled. The ones on the back of her hand weren't much better. Thankfully, she'd brought cover-up. As she brushed her teeth, she remembered the dream she'd been having, but wished she couldn't. She was standing in the middle of the apartment again, her mother sitting on the couch and J suspiciously missing. Mom was alive but in a comatose state. Her blank eyes stared into nothingness; her skin was tinged in green and purple as if she were dead. As hard as she tried, Josie couldn't make her respond. All she did was sit on the couch beside her drug tin, not responding. She felt enraged at once. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't control it anymore. It exploded seemingly out of nowhere.

_'Why didn't you care?!'_

_'We needed you and you weren't there!'_

_'Why didn't you try getting better for us? Were we not enough for you?!'_

_'Mom! Mom! Are you listening?! Mom!'_

Josie spat into the sink and stared back into the mirror. She began brushing her hair into its normal waves as she thought. No, they hadn't been enough. Regardless of rehab tricks and detoxing her in her bedroom, Julia always managed to relapse. Josie would come home and find her shooting up or buying drugs from Tommy. She'd tell Josie how sorry she was, and that she'd tried harder next time. Yet, that promise never stayed long. She couldn't even stay clean long enough to hold down a job. When she wanted money, she'd either steal it from Josie or work the corner in a skirt and heels. She'd have done anything for a fix. It broke Josie's heart the first few times. Eventually, it just became another family thing. Josie realized she didn't care anymore. She wanted drugs more than them, and Josie learned to deal with that.

Once she'd tied up her hair, she entered the kitchen where she found Smurf sticking fruits and vegetables into a blender, and Baz and Deran seated at a side counter with a large paper unfolded before them. Their words were drowned out by the sound of Smurf's blender, but it didn't stop her from noticing the floor plan they talked over. Josie grabbed a cup of coffee, noting that J and she could use their own mugs from home. All the chores from last night came flooding back to her in an instant, reminding her for the day before. It was exhausting.

"Morning honey," Smurf said to her as she took a seat at the island counter. "How'd you sleep? How about those sheets, huh?"

"Yeah, they were great," Josie replied. "500 thread count, right?"

Smurf nodded, "Only the best for my babies. Are you hungry? I can whip you and J some eggs and bacon?"

"Sure," she nodded. "Did he eat his plate last night? Do you know?"

She shook her head, "Found it in the microwave this morning."

"Then definitely make some, please," Josie said. "I don't know how he goes so long without eating anything."

"He's probably got a lot on his mind," Baz said. "He'll be hungry when he gets here."

"I hope so," she said. She needed him to go get some things from the apartment since he'd have an open schedule. She watched Smurf begin whipping up some eggs before J walked into the room. From the messy curls and the bit of sweat on his shirt, she could tell he'd slept pretty well. He hadn't even changed out of last night's clothes. "Good morning," she said, "Jesus, you look like something picked up from a gutter."

"At least I don't look like I just stepped out of a coffin," he joked, punching her arm lightly.

"Smurf's making us breakfast," she said.

"Uh no, I'm good," he said, "I can just start with some coffee."

"J, you didn't eat anything last night," Josie said, sipping her coffee, "You're eating."

"I have school," he said. "I can just get something on the way."

"I told you that you didn't have to go," she said. "Please J, just sit down and relax. Grandma's making us breakfast, and it'd be rude not to eat it."

"Ugh, fine," J sighed, getting his coffee. "I always forget how annoying you can be in the morning."

"He's not six, Josie," Deran said.

"No, but he acts like it," she smirked at J from the counter.

"Oh, she only cares about her baby brother," Smurf defended, placing some bacon on a skillet. "Sit down, baby. Breakfast is almost ready."

J took his seat beside Josie, and sighed. He put his head on her shoulder. "I had such a fucked up dream," he whispered between them, eyes closing a moment.

"Me too," she said. "It was about Mom."

"So was mine."

She patted his hand on the counter and continued drinking her coffee as she listened to the sound of whirling blender and crackling bacon. The tranquility was broken by a loud voice from down the upstairs hall. "What did I say?!" Craig popped up from the overhang looking over the kitchen, "What did I say if it woke me up again?!"

"Here he goes," Deran muttered.

"Just do it already, man," Baz said.

He was completely naked, and seeing a naked Craig was the last thing she thought she'd see. His hair messy from sleep, she tried ignoring the member swinging whenever he moved. It was nice when she quickly glanced. He wasn't too large, but he was proportionate for a man his height. Her cheeks grew hot, and she turned towards J.

He unplugged the blender from the outlet and looked around, "Where's the hammer?! Huh?! Where's the hammer?!"

"Can't you just smash it on the floor?" Baz asked.

"You don't think I'll do it! I'll fucking do it!" Craig retorted.

"Baby, but you bought that for me!" Smurf told him.

"No I didn't-"

"-Yes you did. You always forget my birthday, so I bought it for you and gave it to myself. I wrapped it up real nice, and I loved it, baby. I really did," she said.

Craig settled down, nodding as he put it back on the counter. Baz and Deran shared amused grins before Baz said, "Dude, don't you think you should go put something on?"

"Yeah," Deran agreed, "There's a lady here." He gestured to Josie. They said it more for humiliation than chivalry.

It's as if he just remembered Josie and J were there. She expected a lopsided grin or him to instantly cover up from embarrassment. However, all he did was nod at them, "Morning."

"Morning," Josie grinned, sipping her coffee.

"You don't…" he pointed to his naked body, "You don't mind right?"

They shook their heads. "It's your house," Josie said.

"Feel free to join if you want," he said, more to Josie than J.

"Seriously, bro?" Deran said.

"She's your niece, dude," Baz said, balling up a paper and throwing it at him.

"I was just saying," Craig said, walking over to the coffee pot and pouring himself a cup, "Makes it less awkward."

"No," Baz said, shaking his head, "No, it doesn't."

"And I'm pretty sure J doesn't want to see his sister naked," Deran said added.

"She's in her panties," Craig commented over his mug.

"But at least that's clothing," Josie said, "And I have a shirt to cover them."

Something in his face told her he wished she didn't have anything on. Then he looked away shamefully before anyone saw him. She looked to Smurf, who chimed in, "And she has some modesty."

She handed J and Josie their plates. J dug into his almost instantly, while Josie ate calmly. She had enough time before work. "J, the apartment has to be cleared by Saturday," she turned to him, "So, when I come back we're gonna go and just get some stuff."

"Like your keyboard?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, like my keyboard," she said, "And I'm sure you've left stuff there. Just take the important stuff and leave everything else there. The person who moves in can have them."

"Don't you have to go to work, Sis?" J said, drinking his coffee.

She laughed, raising eyebrows, "Oh, you're giving orders now, huh?" she smacked his arm lightly. "Fine, let the loser who moves in there have your books. I'm sure you don't need them; one less thing off my shoulders."

He stuck out his tongue but they laughed. "The boys can take J for a while," Smurf said, "There's a six-footer out today, isn't there Craig?"

He turned to his mother and then to J, "Yeah, there is. You should come."

"Do you surf?" Deran asked.

"I get by," J answered. "Do you wanna come, Jo?"

"I got work," she said, "I told you. You go. You could use some fun." She kissed his forehead and then rinsed out her plate in the sink. "You all can go get the stuff after, if you want. I'm going to take the bike," she told him, "Since you're going with them."

"Okay."

"Oh honey, you don't have to do that," she said. "Craig can take you."

"Oh no," she shook her head, "It's cool. I always pedal there."

"Don't be complicated, Jo," J pleaded from his spot. "Just go in the car. It won't kill you."

"I'm not being complicated," she said.

"Yeah, you are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not, you little shit," she smiled.

"Kids," Smurf cut in, "Josie, just go with Craig. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, would you baby?"

"Nah," he shook his head, downing the rest of his coffee. "I wouldn't mind at all."

"Okay," she gave into them, "As long as you don't drive naked. That's just taking it too far."

They all laughed as she walked away. She heard Baz then say, "I can say this because I'm not your real uncle, but your sister does have a nice ass, J."

"Yeah, she does," the other two agreed.

Josie began preparing for work. Not needing her uniform for the day, she only packed her wallet and phone. She knew J would do what she asked, but she was glad he was finally getting some fun. Josie often felt guilty that J hardly went out. The only place he went was to Nicky's house, and honestly, Josie wished he'd go anywhere else. She slipped on an off-shoulder flowing midriff, shorts for the day and tied up her hair before heading back out into the kitchen.

"Have a good day, sweetie," Smurf said, handing her a lunch, "Everything will be ready by the time you come back."

"Thanks," she smiled, taking the lunch.

She passed J as she left the kitchen, mussed his hair and muttered a 'be good' to him. Her whole body felt electrified walking with Craig. She wasn't sure why, but it could be because he'd worn his hair half up and his clothes did nothing to hide his broad shoulders. Most of the guys she knew cut their hair short or shaved one side or change it to bright colors like neon blue or green. Adam had recently added red highlights to his hair, which caused him to wear red a lot. They were either skinny or relatively healthy, though not like Craig. Josie took Adam out of her head. He was the last person she wanted to think about.

Sliding into the truck, she said, "Let me guess, she told you not to take me on your bike?"

Craig laughed, turning on the engine, "Yeah. She said you'd get hurt."

Josie snorted, "It's not like I've never been on a motorcycle before. I'm not a baby."

"Oh, but she's gonna treat you and J like it," he said. "She does it with all of us, so don't feel too bad about it."

They peeled out of the driveway and drove towards the beach now. Stray strands of hair flowed in the wind, and she could already smell the salt in the air. She guessed the wind was coming inland today, which meant that the aquarium will smell more like beach than humid water. She felt a vibration in her pocket, and pulled out the phone to see Adam's text.

_'Are you at work?'_ , it read. _'Please, I wanna see you. I wanna talk about this. I miss you.'_

She ignored the messages and turned the phone on silent. She couldn't believe the nerve of him. What more was there to talk about? What guy would want to stay with the girlfriend who kicked his ass in front of his other girlfriend?

"Your ex?" Craig asked.

"Yeah," she sighed, crossing her arms. "How'd you know?"

"Everybody gets that face when their ex texts them," he said. "He wants to get back with you, doesn't he?"

"He does," she said. "He wants to 'talk about it' or whatever. What's there to talk about? He's an asshole and an idiot. I don't even know why I liked him."

"Because he seemed good at the time," he answered. "I mean, I can't really blame him for trying. I can be an idiot and an asshole, and if I lost a girl like you I'd be doing the same thing."

Had he really said that? Surely, he meant it in an 'uncle-doting-on-his-niece' way. "And also the fact that you look like Tarzan when he crawled out of the jungle doesn't help."

His smile gave her butterflies. "Oh, so that's what we're doing now, huh?" he said, "Okay. Wanna know who called me last night?"

"Who?" she smiled, already knowing the punch line.

"Dracula," he said, "He wanted to know when you were coming back to the castle."

She lightly punched his arm as they both laughed. Then he said, "Is that seriously all you got? I barely felt that."

"Bullshit," she said, hitting him again.

He shook his head, "Nope."

She did it again a little harder, and he only chuckled. "That one tickled," he japed. "Did you actually fight a person yesterday or were they imaginary?"

She couldn't stop laughing. He didn't feel like an uncle. He didn't talk like one. She sat with him in the car as if they were friends off to the beach. It concerned her but at the same time she wasn't bothered.

i 'It's because you haven't seen him in ten years,' /i she rationalized. i 'He's your uncle, stupid. He's only being nice because Adam and you broke up. Uncles do stuff like that all the time.' /i

She wasn't sure about that. She'd spent most of her life without the Codys. She barely remembered any of them. They were always blurred faces in her memories with muffled voices. She only remembered the small things.

"You used to put me on your shoulders," she then said.

"What?"

"When I was seven and J was three," she said. "When we'd go to the beach together, Mom always forgot my sandals so the sand burned my feet. You'd then pick me up and put me on your shoulders because you were the tallest."

"Yeah," he said, "Yeah, I remember that."

"Smurf used to douse me in sunscreen because she didn't want me to get burned," she said, "And make sand castles with me and J. Mom and me would collect shells and take them home."

Her laughter died in her throat. She remembered everything slightly more vivid than before. Those had been better times. Josie recalled lying in bed some nights and wishing she'd magically wake up as the seven-year-old girl on the beach. "That's really the only thing I remember anymore," she told him. "I sort of forgot the rest."

"And that's not really a bad thing," he said. "You can make new ones now."

His free hand fell on her knee casually and gently. It didn't feel odd or strange. It was comforting to have his hand there. Of course, it didn't slide anywhere or gripped her. His thumb only rubbed the space beside her knee cap. His hand felt rough against her soft skin, and radiated her entire body. She tucked hair behind her ear and looked over at him.

"I suppose I can," she said.

He parked outside the aquarium where she saw people already filling the ticket lines and going inside. Parents rented strollers from the guest booth and a school bus was parking in the lot full of excited young children. She wouldn't be working with them today, even though she loved it. She inhaled the sea air coming in from the beach and couldn't get enough. Her eyes fell on the sign above the entrance. 'Lowe Park Aquarium and Animal Reserve', it read. Then she noticed a very familiar figure standing out in the crowd.

"Oh fuck me backwards," she grunted.

Adam was the only person she knew who wore combat boots, a flannel shirt and torn jeans to the goddamn beach. Anything to play his role as the rebellious punk was worth it to him. She already felt annoyed.

"What?" Craig asked, looking around Adam's direction. "That's him?" he sounded unimpressed and even a bit surprised.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"He's a fucking twig," he said. "I don't think it's a good idea for him to be out on a windy day. The wind might blow him over."

He alleviated her knots with her laugh. She said, "Especially in that flannel."

Adam then noticed her. He waved. She saw his bandaged nose and the cut on his lip. Her own bruise was only a small spot on her cheek. He was certainly worse off than her. Josie watched him begin walking through the crowd towards the truck, and she wished she hadn't come to work after all.

"Fuck, he's coming over here," she said.

Craig stayed silent for a moment, and then leaned over, "Kiss me."

"What?!"

"Just do it," he said. "Trust me, it'll work."

She looked him over, and then nodded. She stayed glued to her seat as Craig leaned into her. It was so wrong. It was very, very wrong and she shouldn't have agreed to this. He titled her head towards him and his lips attached to hers. It wasn't a small peck or brief. It wasn't the sort of thing an uncle would do for his niece. Craig's kiss was long and passionate like a lover's. His tongue licked at her bottom lip before she let him into her. Her hand fell into the crook of his arm, feeling his warm skin and hard muscles. His beard tickled her upper lip and chin, but she didn't care. Their kiss became heated. He suckled on her lips and she tugged on his. It's as if they suddenly forgot the most important fact. It didn't matter right then. His lips were delicate with her, yet desperate for her taste. Her core already tightened from this kiss alone.

He pulled away in a few light brushed and a nose nuzzle. In that moment, he stared back into her eyes with more than kissing on his mind. "Get out of the car and pretend you never saw him," he instructed, "It'll drive him crazy. Trust me."

"Okay," she said breathlessly, "Bye Craig."

"Bye," he said. He added another kiss for good measure before she slipped out of the car.

She was shaking. She concealed her wobbly knees and blushing cheeks from the people around the further she got from the car. Adam came into her sight and she coughed the nerves out. Her mind completely forgot about him and thought about what had just happened.

"Hey Josie," Adam said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, hey," she said. His lips were ecstasy that charged through her body. She could still feel them.

"Who was that?" he asked, nodding to where the truck had been.

She absolutely, positively could not tell him the truth. "A guy I met the other night," she said, moving past him to the entrance.

"A guy?" he followed her, "You're already seeing other guys?"

"Why do you care?" she said. "You were seeing other girls when we were still together, so why does it matter if I see guys when we break up?" She then added, "And I'm not seeing him."

"Then why was he kissing you?" he asked defensively. "We're broken up one day and you're already hooking up with other guys?"

"Let me tell you something," she rounded on him. "You are in no position to be bitching and whining about what I do with other people. You were the one who cheated. You were the one who went behind MY back and fucked some groupie you met at a show. You don't get to fucking say that shit to me. Go home. Leave me alone."

"Josie," he said, "Look, I'm sorry. I know I don't get a say in what you do. You know, your body's like your own business and stuff. I just like don't want some random guy like taking advantage of you. Plus, that dude looks a lot older than you, so he could be like married or some shit-"

"-Oh fuck off," she rolled her eyes, "Don't act like you care about me."

"I do," he replied. "I'm sorry for what I did. I'd taken a shit ton of X and was feeling all horny and stuff. You know how I get when I take ecstasy."

"That's not an excuse," she said. "You could have said no and gone home, and you didn't. You decided to fuck someone else. I'm done with you, Adam. We're done."

Her mind went back to the truck as she went past the employee line where she flashed her ID at the guard. She felt queasy. Her mind swam like the fish in the tanks, and she suddenly didn't care for the tranquil scene around her. Josie couldn't tell anyone what happened in the jeep. Not even J, especially not J. Their shared moment would stay with her and her only. Entering the locker room, she opened her locker and found her wet suit. She had work to do.


End file.
